e x h a u s t e d

I don't think I have done much today but i feel so exhausted right now. And it's not even 7 yet. I cannot imagine how I lasted for 12-14 hours a day in my previous job. I have 2 working days left to clear as much work as I can so that I can go for my 'vacation' in as much peace possible without worrying about my dear boss cursing :p

It's so difficult to concentrate with my mind keep wandering off to my 'vacation' next week.

I would like to salute people who are really ill and are still able and insist to report to work. I had a classmate who had leukaemia and he insisted on coming to school everyday and he always gets flying grades - much better than any of us. He continued to earn excellent grades in STPM but didn't live long enough to step into the University. I salute you my dear friend....you could have just quit and go do something more fun but you insisted on living life the same way as everyone of us did. Now..I am kicking myself..cos I can't even remember your full name..i can only remember your nickname 'kai chai'. It's been more than 10 years now..I wonder where you are now...

Anyway...I had plans to go to the salon today (so that I can look good on the operation table!)...but I am too tired now. Will go tomorrow la. See..I am not even officially ill yet....and I am behaving this way. It's so easy to fall into the 'feel sorry for myself state'. Just gotta keep picking myself up!

a little update

in case u r stil interested..i hv chosen A. Scheduled 6th as THE date. Should be all smooth going IF i dun fall under the 2% chance!

I did share with Doc A about Doc B's opinion. He frowned for a while and said - "hmm..may be I am scaring away all my patients!" He wanted to justify further..but changed his mind..said..'better not la..then you will say I am scaring you" In the end, he shrugged and said..may be i see too many cases..since I specialise in 'this' area.

We spent the rest of the time clarifying what I have to do and what he will do on that day. FYI - I have to fast from 6am onward - no water no food *CRY*. He also spent some time to see if I am healthy i.e. blood pressure n heart rate etc. I also make him explain again the consent form that I signed...to make sure he will not do more than Laproscopy.

All in all ..I think I spent about 20 mins to half an hour in there...like tat also kena charged RM90!

Hope everything will be smooth sailing from now onwards.

Shower in Toilet Cubicle

I was 'showered' in the toilet cubicle just now!

As I was preparing for my pee wee..I heard a sudden 'foooommm' sound from next door cubicle. I thought my next door neighbour fainted or fell down but before I can react....I felt water 'showering onto me! Thankfully it didn't last for long...only a couple of seconds. My pee wee neighbour must have accidentally turned the tap linked to the hose too high, hence, causing the hose to go out of control. Gee..I wonder if the water splashed straight from the tap or from somewhere else :(

(FYI to non m'sians - toilets in m'sia are equipped with hose linked to a tap. This is done for the convenience of some users who prefer to wash / clean using water instead of toilet paper)

A or B!!

Arrghh...now I have to decide which doc I shud go to. Doc A or Doc B!

While the whole world prefers Doc B and yes he did give me a huge relief by leading me to rule out smthg that is 'unlikely to happen' (..but not totally not possible)....I do not really like him as a Doctor. I find him like most other typical doctors...who always appear to be very bz...he will spend sufficient time to spell out what you need to know very clearly and confidently but somehow I don't feel much compassion. Basically...he is jus being professional...I guess..may be also becos I m not his patient and I made it clear that I was there to seek a 2nd opinion.

Doc A on the other hand..gave me a very comfortable feeling. He gives me all the time I need to tell him my grandmother stories. He doesn't rush me..he is very patient. ANd becos of his nature..he took the trouble to spell out possibilities that will most likely not going to happen. I also strongly believe that it is also becos he specialises in that particular area while the other doesn't.

Ai yaa...susah betul man. Emotionally...I would like to go back to Doc A. Logically, all factors seem to be pointing towards Doc B.

If I take Doc A..my worry is ...if the worse really come true..he will spell out all the possiblites again and get me all worried. But he is the specialist wor.

If I take out Doc B...everything should be a breeze becos he is so efficient. but if the worse happens..what will he do to me? He doesn't thk that there's a need to talk about it now..so I wouldnt know what will happen..and what would he do?

Arrghh.....

Progress #2

I've just send out an email to inform my 'supporters' about my decision to go for a laproscopy (either next week or week after next )and worry about other factors later (this decision is made after getting a 2nd doc's opinion).

This entry is not about my decision...it's more to share the beauty of having friends to share your thoughts with. They may not be able to offer professional advise..but they will definitely helped me to lighten up. I did mention in my previous entry about being a little frustrated....hey... I am human ma..i also have limits..no hard feelings ok..I do appreciate greatly all your contributions and concerns...*HUGS* You guys have made the process more colorful.

SO..next time if you come across any obstacles or difficult problems..DO voice it out...never ever keeo it to yourself...you will end up feeling more sorry and depressed.

Let me try and entertain you by sharing with you..how enlightening my dear friends can be even in a so-called 'serious' situation:

Type 1 : Fast and Happy Reply
Good good! All is looking good. I like your second doctor more :P..Thanks for keeping us informed.

Type 2: Informative but 'want to know more' Reply
Don't worry...lapro s not painful...I hv done it b4....U dun feel a thing at all!!! So you going to let the 1st doc to perform lapro on you?

Type 3 : Happy Reply but got additional 'request'
Good for you! I also like your second doctor more, at least he is not alarming.
Next week better la, week after next is mine la, then I cannot come visit you.

Type 4: Worrisome Reply
Phew! That’s a big relief. Take it easy la, I’m sure the conditions can be cured by lapro and not the open surgery bla, bla, bla. If you need any help or someone to talk to, you know you can always call me okie…

But I was thinking if I’m you, I will do the lapro with SJ**. I’m just worried that your doc in P** insists on the steps that he has briefed you the other day and not give you the option to think during surgery. So before you commit, read the Disclaimer sheet carefully ya.

i m stil around

jus when i m at a more peace of mind to work..I feel like blogging pulak. Thanks for all the words of encouragement. I m getting on alright..nothg much I can do now but prepare myself mentally for the worse and of course rejoice if everything turns out fine.

As much as I appreciate all the support and suggestions from various parties (friends and family) I was touched, amused and at times frustrated by the different reactions.

I still wonder if I did the right thing sharing the news at such an early stage. While it helps me tremendously by talking about it..at times it is quite tiring answering the same questions over and over again. APOLOGIES to the few late'reactors' which I ignored or 'barked' at....cos I was too malas to respond to the same questions after discussing about it 10 time with the early reactors.

This morning I decided to be smart by sending an email update to everyone ..so that I dun hv to repeat myself so many times. I also find it amusing (and some frustration) at the diferrent 'absorption' level - hence resulting in different reactions.

I wish I can clearly segment the different type of personalities..hence - different opinions..but's it's too complex...human behaviour ma.

Thanks again...for being around.

i am still sane 'too'

i m struggling to do as much work here before i go into 'hibernation' physically or mentally. it's so difficult to concentrate ..my progress at work is so slow. i guess it's better to keep sane than feeling sorry..and hanging around 'working' or 'pretending to work' is a good way to keep sane.

thank god i stil hv the mood to blog...i hope i will hv the stamina to cotinue blogging no matter what happens next.

The weekend started with a BANG for me. Met up with the group at MV before going to CN's place for her pre-wedding 'do'. On the way there, I received my 'findings' (finally). It's bad news for me. Considered not attending the wedding thingy on Sat but decided not to dissappoint little CN. THe night went by with mixed feelings..the crowd helps to take my mind off the worry. Well, I did feel a bit lonely and lost while I was driving home alone later. Since I had to wake up early the next morning...upon reaching home, I quickly washed up and wanted to go to bed and at the same time forget about all the 'sorrows'.

To my surprise my sis turned up and wanted to take my dad out (it's past midnite!) to break the bad news to him. I didnt have the heart to tell her that I wanted to sleep...so I went with them. It turn out to be somethg good - I mean talking abt it with with the family. Came back feeling much better.

Woke up next morning at 7am! Hardly slept...was at CN's place by 8.30am to resume our honorary role as CHI MUI. Our main task is of course....create some obstacles to make it 'not so easy' for the groom.

The groom arrived at about 9am, we were greeted and overwhelmed by the bossy tai kam cheh...who lead the way into the house bringing all kinds of 'gifts' to the bride's family.

Fortunately, the tai kam cheh was understanding enough to make way and allowed us to 'play' a few tricks on the groom and his heng tai. They were very sporting indeed, by downing our concoctions of bitter coffee, sour apple cider and very very sweet sugar water. They also obliged to put on lipstick and kissed each other (excluding the groom of course).

It was a short wan la...nothing too difficult for these men. Shortly, after tat, the bride met the groom..and tea ceremony went
on smoothly.

We had some great tasting roast pork while waiting. Next we went on to the grrom's house for another session of tea ceremony. Took more photos and had lunch before leaving. Oh yes..do check out this kid..who had to pee in the special potty ..this is to make sure CN will 'u know what' soon.

Was home close to 4pm. Took a short nap before dressing up and headed to the hotel again.. ..our task there was to usher in guests to their respective section..i.e bride's side vs groom's side. Of course..we didnt too much..jus stood around and looked pretty.

The dinner ended late. Was home close to midnite. Thankfully we still have Sunday to recover from the 'ordeal'. Spent Sunday pretty at home..pondering over my 'little problem'

Back to reality...

I thought I saw a catchy campaign awareness ad in the papers last night. It has a dual lingo catchy logo which says ‘I-WATCH” and “AWAS-I” (couldn’t find it in the online paper). The tagline says something about ‘I see’, “I report’ and “I something” ,…can’t remember exactly – either my memory power is failing or the campaign cut thru is not working well.

Anyway..the campaign encourages us to CALL 999 when we see ‘something’….I excitedly thought – “finally we can be the eyes of the Police!” BUT..it is peculiar to me why was the campaign launched by the Minister of Telecommunications, Eergy & Water??? I couldn’t figure out why until I see a related news in the main page which says the following..:

….Call '999' if you spot someone stealing metal parts or electric cables belonging to public utility firms as it affects your safety and comfort. ...This message comes as part of a three-month public awareness campaign jointly launched by the country’s utility companies and the authorities to fight the metal theft menace. …..

It’s actually a campaign initiated by the said ministry to fight thefts of metal parts or electric cables. While I applaud the initiative by my favourite minister…I personally feel that the campaign could have been designed to cover a broader scope like ALL OTHERS i.e. robberies, burglaries, illegal parking, illegal racing, etc etc. Why just ONE form of theft? Can I call 999 when I see a snatch thief?

Secondly, I also doubt the 999 call centre’s ability on handling these calls based on my personal experience and countless complaints that I have read about.

I see two issues here…sometimes it’s just a matter of choice:

• Whether we choose to ‘tackle’ at the bigger problem or just be ‘smart’ or ‘sensible’ by just taking care of our own ‘territory’.
• Whether we choose to unearth and revamp the basics and rebuild or just ‘touch up’ what is obviuos and visible to bare eyes

I am not targeting mainly at this campaign per say , it’s just a general observation of attitude towards life (work, family, personal) issues. I am also very guilty myself …most times. It’s just so much easier to close an eye or BOTH ……….

Disgust

When Daydremer told me about the news article I didn't bother to take note. It's something about some silly boatmen offering TOUR RIDES to take people around Kotat Tinggi, Johore to tour the flood areas.

I finally read the news in full at home last nite and ended up feeling disgusted. Here are some of the things that was mentioned by our dear fellow countrymen:

"....Boatmen here are charging between RM5 and RM10 to take people on a “tour” of flooded areas.
Knowing that such an “offer” was available, hundreds came here hoping to be taken around...."

"..We heard about the town being submerged and decided to check it out,” said Martin, a 30-year-old mechanic from Johor Baru..."

"...Those who had “toured” the flooded areas came back shocked at the devastation they saw.

“...I really pity the people here. I came because I wanted to see first-hand how bad the situation was after reading the papers,” said Jenny, a 28-year-old waitress. ...Asked if she felt it was a cruel thing to do to go on such a “tour”, she replied: “I did not bring the rain. I was curious and it is not like I harmed anyone by going on the tour. I paid for it....”

Well, I don't blame them for being curious but they could have at least take the opportunity to bring with them some food or any kind of donations to help the victims. Apparently, you can easily spot them as they will be happily taking pictures. Since they are so free to go round take pictures....might as well volunteer to to do some good.

Sigh...

Anxious Wait

Don't know why these thgs always happen to me. Cowie says I am not fierce enough..so I often get pushed around. I have yet to get to know the results I've been waiting for. Each time I call I get a different story.

First call at 1040am yesterday
We have it already but the person in charge will only be in after 3pm. He will most likely see it tis evening..most likely we will call tomorrow morning if there's a need.

Second call at 5pm yesterday (another person picked up the call)
We don't seem to have receive it yet. Anyhow, the person in charge will only look at these in the late evening, if anything he will leave a note for us to inform you tomorrow.

Third call at 10.10am this morning (same person who picked up the second call answered)
I don't see anything in your file means we have not receive it. I called the other dept who is suppose to process your info..they said they have not processsed your info. Should be done by today and we will receive tomorrow. Please call around 6pm tomorrow.

( I asked for the first lady who claimed she has received - but she is on leave).

Thus..I have to anxiously wait for 2 more days. Grrrrr....

Stopping Gym

I am seriously considering stopping my gym membership since the 24 mths bond period will be up in May. At the rate I am going..the ROI is really really bad. I might as well use the 156 odd ringgit for UT regular investment scheme. I never realised the power of ringgit & cents until I bought a house. Every ringgit counts man.

Now that I've paid off the car loan, I will have more $$ to play around with. I stil owe my ol' man some money for the hse down payment. And I do need cash sooner or later for basic house renov. unless I 'withdraw' (again) from the 'bank of ol'man' at home. I've also recently signed up for a UT regular savings scheme whereby it deducts $100 a mth from your a/c to be invested in a pre-determined fund.

I was quite KIAM as I only opted for the $100 and not more. This lead me to stopping the gym membership which costs me $156+ a mth....since i only go there for a pathetic once a week..I might as well dump the money into better use - right?

As for exercise..I can still rely on tai chi and occasional walk at the park. *still thinking hard*

Worse come to worse..sign up again lo...may be can get a better deal ler.

Welcome To My New 'Blog Nest'

Hello. It's a brand new year, so i decided to migrate to a brand new 'nest'. Thanks to busybee n mag for leading the way. This seems like a better 'nest' to play in. Was chatting with Daydreamer talking about finding some little excitement to do. This is little excitement lo..creating something different to do. She's just telling me now..that 'sleeping' is the best activity in the world *LOL*

Well...from now on...I shall blog here. Hope I will write better stuff here.

A follow up from my last post in MYspace - I have yet to know the results. Still waiting anxiously.