Saturday, July 30, 2011

Feeding Sessions

I've been eating for 36 hours.

Thurs nite dinner at Famous nasi lemak in Bangsar. This costs RM9! So expensive don't you think so?




Friday quick breakie at Tappers, Jaya One with fafa (no photos)

Next was a super massive lunch with mag at Toast and Roast. We had three bowls of noodles and two plates of char siew! I swear I'm not having anymore char Siew in 2011. (no photos)


In less than an hour, we joined the rest  for Tea T Forty Two, Bangsar Village.   We had a real good time catching up..Thanks ML for the treat.











Dinner with another bunch at J Tean Kitchen in ss two mall. Pork again!

Say good bye to McD , this is worth trying, warning : stay away if you dislike pepper though

Pork Knuckle (should have insisted to take the shot before it was cut-up


I was severely overfed, almost had to wake up in the middle of the night to throw up the food...



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Thursday, July 28, 2011

How often do you run / walk ?




via Penang Bridge International Marathon Facebook page :
"We are different, in essence, from other men. If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon." --- Emil Zatopek 


How very very true..

In this era, our lives moves in such a quick pace.  Everyday, week, months zooms past us like flashes.

We walk fast. eat fast.  work fast. Erm...we don't walk or use our legs much actually.  We drive. We take the escalator / elevator.  Even if I work out in the gym often, I don't really 'travel' on my legs..the indoor cardio workouts that I do I mainly 'on the spot' kind of thing.

So..when was the last time you actually took the time to Walk / Run using your own legs for ...let's say an hour?

I think most of you would say ...the last holiday trip.  True. Holidays are the only time when we get away from our car and daily schedule,  don't need to sit 10 hours in the office, don't need to be stuck in traffic for hours.  So..we ended walking and walking..and we don't complain.

We don't go for holidays so often right?  Once at most 2 or 3 times a year.

I just realised, after reading the quote from the PBIM page - the only other times when I unite with my limps are when I am at marathons or runs.  Doesn't matter if it's 5, 10 or 20 km...but it was good...to be away...alone with my body and mind...no machines.  Just me, myself and of course fellow runners. And the road.

They were pleasant experience, really.












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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

so much sotong








Looks good right?
It's butter sotong with rice.
Tasted good too.

But I feel so overfed with sotong now...

Elk....









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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Crap


Does the above look familiar to you?  I get it very very often, to be fair, I'm not sure if it's due to problems with the application or our dear mobile network data provider.  

Regardless, I've not been happy with the speed and quality of data service, Edge or 3G same.  The irony is, 3G which is supposedly more advanced is much much slower most of the time.

We pay RM100 to 375  a month (depending on packages) for calls, messages AND data access from 1GB to unlimited (depending on packages).  

I'm on the RM100 plan which comes with 333 mins calls, 200 sms and 1GB data per month.
Here's the thing, I will never reach 333 mins in calls as I'm never a phone yakker.  200sms is only applicable to Maxis numbers, in case you don't know.  They charge you separately if you happen to sms to other numbers.  Now with WhatsApp, who needs to SMS?? 

IGB Data?  I only hit 1GB in my 6th month.  The speed is so bloody slow that I 'd opt for wifi whenever one is available.  Seriously, the damn thing doesn't load properly most of the time.  At home, when I'm driving, in a mall..practically everywhere.  It's like there are random 'coldspots' all over town.  Note : Coldspots is the opposite of Hotspots - in my dictionary. 

Sometimes I wonder why I'm paying 100 bucks a month when I only utilise 5% of the services.  No wonder Mr A is the 2nd wealthiest man in SEA :/




And yesterday, this happened...

The entire network was totally down for about 2 hours since 5,30pm.  Totally frustrating.

Well, to give them some credit, they managed to recover pretty quickly by Msian standards.

Crap...


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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Mogwai


Two little kittens wandered into my garden compound about two weeks ago.  There were not very friendly initially, a natural form of survival instinct I guess.

Was hissing at me but..it's so cute right?  Friends in FB thinks it looks like Mogwai the Gremlin.


This was taken on the second night..poor lil fella was still so terrified of me.



Well, it came with another sibling..which unfortunately ain't as good looking..hence there are less pics of this other kitty :P


I think I can confirm by now that they are both females..


So photogenic ^^



They are very much at home in the garden..the dogs are gentle to them too.



And..quite attached to me now, cos I give them food !


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Friday, July 22, 2011

I was just like Baby Dylan


While sipping our coffee, I chuckled when ML was describing to me how baby Dylan was awake all night when she had too much coffee and breastfed the baby.  I know, I shouldn't be 'drinking' so much but since it was ML's treat and it tasted so good..it's been a long time since I had mocha, I had to finish it.  I had the last sip just before my regular combat class at the gym.  I was so high on caffeine, heartbeat was so fast I thought my heart will jump out any time.   Survived the class though..in fact the caffeine helped me to put more in tho.. .had a good workout :D

Unfortunately, the effect broke into major gastric pains during the night  _._

Couldn't find any gastric meds so the other sensible thing to do is to gulp down as much water possible.  Managed to sleep, thankfully, when the discomfort subsided but woken up once may be twice when the pain returned.  Just like how ML described baby Dylan stays up playing with his saliva all night..haha.

Much much better now..




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Thursday, July 21, 2011

Love it!



I, I, I must go to the run..!



So that I can wear this pinky :D



*loves*






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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I want to run ...




http://www.shape.com.my


I want to run.....


http://www.shape.com.my
Registered for the longer distance, but it doesn't seem likely that I'm fit to run that far when I can't even run 2 mins on the treadmill.

Assuming both distance starts on the same time..I can 'pretend' that I'm gonna run the full distance...then turn off with the 5km crowd..and finish at shorter distance..cool?

Hope they won't disqualify me :(


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Monday, July 18, 2011

Lantau Island, HK - Things to do


There were five things that I wanted to do in Lantau Island.

A. Ngong Ping Cable Car
System was under maintenance when I was there, so disappointed that I didn't get to do this :(



B. Visit the Giant Buddha
This is the world's largest Buddha.  Built using bronze.  Quite awesome.

200 steps 


'somebody' teared when she saw the Buddha, may be she has stronger faith and I don't :P 





C. The Wisdom Path
Just a short walk in the same area.  I had no patience to read nor listen to the history behind this when I was there.  So here's my google find : D

An outdoor replica of the centuries old Heart Sutra, one of the world’s best-known prayers that is revered by Confucians, Buddhists and Taoists alike. The sutra is displayed on wooden pillars placed in the form of a figure "∞" to symbolise the idea of immeasurable splendour and infinity.

Oh..I see :P


Such a peaceful spot.  We spent quite a long time here..although we didn't really understand what was written on each pole.


For example, this one.  I can only imagine a warrior floating in the air while writing this with his sword.  Hahaha. 


Seriously, I think we did spent about an hour here..taking photographs, like the above, testing my creativity sense.  Not forgetting we also got sun burnt :s  

Oh ya, we also talked about Buddhism..to some extend.  Yes..me..I can be very Zen yor.  In fact, SH thanked me for the 'meaningful' chat :P


D. Tai-o Fishing Village
I wandered to this fishing village alone. SH had to leave early for an appointment.


I like this place very much.  So much tranquility especially when compared to the stressful city in town.



If you happen to be in Tai-O, you must not leave until you locate this man!

And no..he is not some thug ...


He makes awesome awesome egg biscuits the traditional way, I think it's called "kai tan zhai" in Cantonese.



Check out his tools and equipment. Cannot find anywhere else in the world man!



I'm drooling...

D.Citygate Outlets
Lastly, if you have time, or rather, make time to shop at the Citygate outlets.
Fortunately, I didn't spend much..phew. And the Nike store was under-renovation when I was there . Grrr..




What's this doing here?
Oh..my new kitty.  Meet Mogwai, featuring in coming post =)







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Sunday, July 17, 2011

No blogging at nite


I've been blogging less I think...or blogging habits had changed somewhat.  Used to blog mainly at night on my bed when I'm at the most peaceful state.  Can't do so lately..  night time is not that peaceful anymore cos I can't find a comfortable position to stay up.  My favourite position (lying on my tummy) isn't comfortable anymore.  I thought the bed is too soft for the bad back..so tried sitting on the floor, didn't work.

Concluded that basically, the system signals for rest time, as in practically lie down flat..nothing moves.


zzz..
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Friday, July 15, 2011

Still can't run :(


Tried running today..couldn't even last 2 mins :(

Shape Run is in two weeks time, looks like I won't be able to run again.
No way I'm gonna walk 12.3 km.  May be I will walk the 5km with Jenny.



Well, I'm not really that passionate about running..but I do miss it.

Can't run.
Can't RPM.
Even Bodybalance was a pain.

Thank God I don't have much problem doing body combat.
Probably because BC involves a good mixture of upper and lower body movements hence the pressure is not on the back all the time.

 Sigh~

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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Bersih and Me


How can I not write about BERSIH 2.0 when the whole country is talking about it, right?

Honestly, I didn't give a damn initially. I only had a very vague idea about it... it is some initiative from some lady called Ambiga..and somewhat related to the opposition and the government is very against it.  That's all I knew...

Sometime in May/ June, I noticed, some friends 'liking' the Bersih page in Facebook, then , many started to have a Bersih logo on their profile pictures, but I didn't dwell further.

Occasionally, I'd glanced through updates from Malaysia Insider via Facebook news feed but didn't really click into them to find out more.  Basically, the word Bersih appeared often enough in my news feed..so indirectly I was  forced to 'know' about it existence.

Tony Pua, the only politician that I 'follow' in Facebook stated something that somehow got stuck in my wandering mind, it went something like this .."Thanks to the BN goons, Bersih 2.0 is becoming more well known than ever" .

How true!

The final trigger (for me) was when I read Patrick Teoh's simple yet informative blog post - What's it all about? on June 28th, where he listed out the 8 simple points about Bersih 2.0.   I read and understood immediately. From then on, I kept track on the developments.


The analysts were right to say that the cyber space played a huge role in making Bersih 2.0 such a phenomenon.  Bersih 2.0, July 9th, 2011, should will appear in Malaysia's modern history...I hope to see the children (or grand children) of our children reading about this meaningful day in their history books 20-30 years from now.

A Malaysiakini article on July 10th, (a day after) , described the crowd as such:

"Notably, the crowd was made up of many Malaysians in their 20s who were first-time demonstrators.
Ibrahim Suffian, director of independent research house Merdeka Centre, dubbed this group as the Facebook generation."


Even the traffic to my little blog here was affected by all the hype.  Just because of an entry about Ambiga (here) posted in 2009.  Every other day, at least 10 new visitors landed on the page.  Some 14 person clicked the 'like' facebook button hence attracted even more visitors via Facebook.  It is now the most read entry in the past 4 weeks at 227 pageviews, that's 40% of total pageviews in the same period!

Below is the visitors overview chart from Google Analytics.

Check out the orange trend line (new visitors) which is now way above the green line (returning visitors i.e. loyal readers supposedly).  Total visitors per day increased by at least 50% as of today.

How can I not pay attention to Bersih 2.0 when it keeps popping into my everyday life..even though I'm almost totally un-exposed to the mainstream media.

On the night of July 8th, everyone chose to skip the usual Friday night out because of the road closures.  
Many were caught in unnecessary traffic jams because of the closures.  Frustrations built up even more.  Since there was nothing much to do at home, we turned to the cyber space for entertainment....Facebook in particular.  "They can shut down the city but not Facebook, let's paint Facebook YELLOW" - one of my friend initiated.  Good idea ..so I changed my pretty profile pic to a plain YELLOW background.  By the next day, my sis' profile became a Sunflower while my bro's became a Yellow Elephant (cartoon). Lol.

By Saturday noon, me and my sis were glued to our Iphones (while watching over our nephew in the park) getting latest updates via blogs, Facebook and tweets.  I finally had to Like the Bersih page to get the latest updates.

By evening, I was all over Malaysia Insider, Malaysiakini, #Bersihstories on Twitter reading all I can find about the rally.  I told my father to quit waiting for the TV news..they won't report the real scenario !.  I showed him some of the videos instead.

I'm still so awed by Aunty Bersih.  I still wish I will be like her one day.  MCA claimed that Aunty Bersih is an actress paid by the Opposition to cheat us.  How can it be??

Read so many good stories from those who participated.  It was really moving and inspiring.

My friend, Fel did ask me if I am supporting it.  Not sure what she meant by 'supporting' but my stand then was quite simple..I said .."well, I have no intention to join the rally, the only way or move I can make is during the real elections, for now there is nothing I can do"

So..I was really really surprise to see so many people, people like me, who are not aligned to any political party, normal citizens like me, working executives like me, retirees, students, some came as far as from other states came to support the rally regardless of race, income class, gender.....despite the inconveniences.

I'm ashamed.  But..I still can't give a definite Yes, if I'm asked to join Bersih 3.0.

That's why I truly admire people like Aunty Bersih.  My salute you all of you.

I read quite a few entries via Malaysia Insider, they were all very touching.  I don't even know which one to highlight now.  Here's one..that I chose conveniently cos I recommended in Facebook (yes..Facebook, again):


I went to the rally as a spectator. I returned a believer. And I had ice cream with the FRU.
By Charis Ding 

....About twenty minutes later, I was in the middle in front of the Maybank Tower with the throngs of people on my right and the FRU line on the left. The crowd had just gathered, they weren’t even moving forward yet. The FRU shot water cannons. It was unprovoked. Then the gas came. When it hit, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe. And it hurt. I grabbed some water from my bag and washed my face with it. I covered my face with my baju. In the chaos, one, two people offered me salt. "Makan", they told me. It really helped. I crumbled and sat on the corridors for a minute, eyes and nose watering.....


....I ended up in Pudu, watching the marchers and listening to their shouts of "Hidup Rakyat!". When we had to run later, at one point it was tricky to escape and we had to climb a railing at Pudu station. In the huru-hara, the man beside me, instead of just climbing up himself, was yelling to his friend  – "Tolong amoi ini dulu!" He seemed more anxious for me than he was for himself, or even I was for myself.   

(Read more..HERE)


Truly touching..all of them.  I wish I had the courage to be part of it.

Here's an amazing video to summarise it all.



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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Timber



So..while tens of  thousands of courageous Bersih supporters are recovering from their ordeal e.g. post tear gas and chemical water reaction, one humpty dumpty here is recovering from a clumsy fall.


On Sunday night, I fell like a timber to the ground from 1 may be 2 steps of the staircase .  1-2 steps don't sound high but it sure felt like I was falling off a from a 2 storey building!

I think I must have landed side ways on the left..so there's a huge bruise on my left knee, yes again. the last time I fell from the treadmill was also the left knee.. think I'm trying to to crash-tests on my knees -.- ouch ouch it was such a hard fall..I thought I will not walk again.

Passed the crash-test miraculously, hobbled for a few minutes and vroommm I was driving to dinner :D

There's another very painful bruise on the left shoulder that I knocked against a table while 'landing'..luckily no dislocation..but it really felt like I fell from a few storey high lar.  Arm's a bit sore today too due to the impact.

Oh..I found out that the outer ear is called Pinna or ear flap but the latter is more used for animals.  I'd better stick to outer ear or Pinna :D  WHY am I talking about ear flap pinna all of a sudden? Cos that's the third injury!  Ya..hit my head / ear against the table too.  But I wonder why it isn't bruised.  Anyone?

Good that there is no bruising though..otherwise I will have a blue / black looking left ear :s  No hearing problem..no worries.  Was abit blur yesterday though..so I jokingly told Mag that may be there is a concussion ??

Haha..


Nah..I'm fine.  Some friends asked if the fall had any impact on my already injured back...miraculously..No

Blessed :)



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Sunday, July 10, 2011

Anne, my inspiration


When I grow up I want to be like Anne.
Anne, you reminded me of why I must continue to live life ..so that I will find the courage to be just like you.


Source : Facebook's Malaysian Lady of Liberty Fanpage Original Photographer : Hugo Teng
At 65 years old, she marched alone in support of Bersih 2.0, no backing from anyone nor political party....she only has what all of us do not have..courage and selflessness.

Her words to the police ( read in facebook) :
All I want is just a peaceful petition,why wouldn't anyone listen? We cannot run away,if we run, how could we even walk on our future path?


Read about Anne HERE
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Friday, July 08, 2011

My Contribution in Personal Money's April Issue

Just remembered that I have not posted this :P
This was published in Personal Money's April issue.  It will be slightly different in the published version of course..the editor must have made some fine tuning.


How did this come about? Well, I remember it was after I wrote about what I did with my credit cards during one of my bigger purchase, a writer from Personal Money emailed to ask if I'm interested to rewrite a similar topic and submit to be published in a column - I think the column is called In My Opinion, meant for the public to write in to share their ..opinions on how they manage their financial related matters.


So..here it is !
Oh..they even sent a professional photographer to take a profile pic of me for the column..but I'm not gonna post it here :)



In December, I had no choice but to hold on to paying for quite a number of items that I carefully chose as Christmas gifts just because I didn't have the right credit card with me. Well, I did have a choice, which is to pay using the only card I had with me at that moment and not enjoying any discounts.

I was quite impressed that this bookstore has a good practice by telling customers about available payment options to get better deals.  Many outlets do not. What’s the point of participating in merchant offers programmes when you don’t inform your customers about it, I wonder.  

So, anyway, back to my purchase, I was told that a particular card that I left at home offered a 10% discount on all items when the total purchase hits RM90.  I decided to hold purchase and returned a week later to another outlet in a different mall.  Why another outlet? Cos' I wanted to check out decorations of another mall. That's killing two birds with one stone!  Plus, I'd always choose getting presents from bookstores. Why? Cos I can get tax rebates!

I ended up spending an hour or so short listing and choosing gifts all over again because about half of what I chose in the first outlet weren't available in the second outlet. Not a big deal to me since it wasn’t about getting the same items anyway, it was about getting a better deal, I saved a total of RM17.01. Not much? 

Depends how one sees it.  I’d think the savings was a nett gain, as it wasn't an out of the way trip, it was a Friday and I made arrangement to have dinner there anyway.  In a way, the savings paid for dinner!  To me, it’s not about the amount, it is about our attitude, our mindset. 

On one occasion it may be only RM17 but on other occasions it may lead to greater savings. 

Just like when a friend casually asked if I have a credit card from this particular bank.  She jumped in excitement when I said Yes.  Why? Because the card entitles her to get a 15% discount on a birthday cake she ordered for her sons' birthday.  As that was the only day I was available, she "begged" me to drive all the way to Sunway (from Mid Valley) to swipe my card for her.  It was 6pm in the evening!  Sigh ~ things we do to get savings.  She saved about RM67 from the RM450 cake.  If she didn’t ask she would have to pay RM450!

Well, I did have to drive a distance but it was a favour I didn't mind doing for a dear friend. It's good food for the soul to be able to do something nice for someone.

Do all these make sense to you?   Going a little bit out of the way to get some savings by making full use what your credit cards entitlement?

Some may seem small and unattractive but it really depends on how one looks at the picture, similar to the phrase that says "is the cup half empty or half full?"

For instance, I went out of the way applying for additional credit limit just so I can use this particular card for a kitchen cabinet and wardrobe purchase to enjoy their cash back offer. I got back RM120 hard cash.  One can either say: “RM120 is so little, the whole bill was over ten thousand, what's RM120?”  Alternatively, I'd like to see it as: I can use RM120 for a good meal with my family, why not! Or RM120, that's my one month's gym membership fee.  Why not?

It's not about being kiasu, it's about having the right mindset, spending wisely and making the best out of what we have and mind you, we paid for the cards.  And, it's money, hard earned money.

Some of you may argue that it is not worthwhile keeping too many cards when we have to pay RM50 annual service tax for each.  I had that in mind too. 

Well, at the end of the day, it’s all about learning to be smart consumers.  First, make sure that the cards that you are planning to keep are worth keeping i.e. they have regular and good programmes.  Diligent consumers will probably have a spreadsheet with summaries and calculations!  Otherwise, it’s quite easy, just keep your eyes, ears open and be sensitive and observant to advertisements. 
Hint : Normally the popular ones have less attractive offers. 

After short listing one or two that are worth keeping, cancel the rest.  Cancelling cards can be another ordeal especially when the card has many auto debits linked to it i.e. utility, insurance, charity donations, etc.  I’m in the middle of sorting out one! It’s painful.  

The best solution is of course to keep only one card, load all your purchases into it, maximise the points and use the points to offset the RM50 tax.  Oh, how I wish life is so simple.

I need to keep Card A due to some outstanding instalments and it always offers very good cash back deals.  Card B gives me 0.5% instant rebate on all purchases, better than nothing right?  Card C was my main card, it has numerous auto debit linked to it, but it has been pretty useless in terms offers and discounts – I think I shall dump this. 

Do you have the same problems? How many cards do you keep? And do you believe in having a few cards to enjoy different kinds of discounts and offers?
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Thursday, July 07, 2011

Two Lunches

Oh boy..I had two lunches today..but I'm hungry again..it's 7.30 pm now.

I must have gobbled down a double cheese burger too quickly today (before leaving for a meeting) that my stomach didn't receive the 'goods'.  While at tea break (at Griffiths, again) I had a spaghetti!  The tea set was such a good deal, I couldn't resist : RM10 for a Mocha and Olio Spaghetti ! That was around 4pm.

I'm hungry again!

Damn..and am taking a break from working out for a few days.  Double damn...
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Ass Support

It's suppose to be a wrist support.  Since I don't need wrist support..I left it in the car since it's so cute.


Poor thing...it's serving as an ass support :D
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Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Down

Energy level down.
Mood down.
Cash level going down.
Recovery speed down.
Work speed down.




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Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Eat vs. Gym

Not one but many people had told me not once but repeatedly that I'll be the one to ask if they ever run out of places to eat.  Just because I share more often (in Facebook, etc) while others don't bother to do so.  Basically, others have better things to do and I don't.  Not because I eat more often than usual.

But, Mich is damn right to notice that I eat more when I cut down frequency of working out at the gym.  When I am well, it can be up to 6-7 hours a week excluding travelling and shower time. At times, when I have absolutely nothing else to do and heaps of energy to spare, it can be as much as 7-8 hours a week.

At the current semi-idle mode, it is down to as little as 3 hours a week.  Pretty miserable.

So..I fill in the spare time by catching up with friends..and ended up - eating :D

Last weekend alone, starting from Friday evening..my expenditure shot up the roof in less than 24 hours -.-"



I was at Griffiths with Jas..'starter' was their yummy olio seafood spaghetti.  Why 'starter'? Cos' the portion was a tad bit too small for me so I had to follow up with another main meal -  another pizza :P

Thank goodness I refrained from trying their ice cream.


Cappuccino was good but I found it a bit strong even though it's supposed to be a milder than usual.


In less than 24 hours, I was sitting in Departure Lounge with CLK and ML  having Saturday breakfast.

Their DIY breakie is quite nice.  Sorry no pics.  Basically, one can opt for 3, 5 or 7 items breakfast spread.  By default it comes with toasts (plain or french) and 2 eggs (scrambled, sunny or omelette).  There is a whole list of items to choose from from turkey ham, bacon, beef bacon, sausages, beans, hash brown..etc etc etc.  Price depends on number of items chosen.  I opted for 3 items only..eggs, turkey ham and toast. Perfect breakie with a cup of flat white.  Again it was a tad bit too strong for me. Damn..coffee's really not for me nowadays.

Guess what, in a few hours, we adjourned to Brussels which is a few doors away, mainly because someone needed a 'drink'..yes, in the middle of the day.  So..I had a 'drink' too.




On normal Saturdays, I'd start my morning healthily at the gym on the RPM bike :/
I miss RPM...I tried going back yesterday but had to stop half way after feeling some pain :(

Oh boy..really gotta watch my diet budget.
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Sunday, July 03, 2011

I love living my life



That's what came to my mind when I was driving this morning on a beautiful Sunday afternoon..having random thoughts as usual..about stuff.  Very random stuff..about how I'd like things to be better, what I'd like to have more, things that I enjoyed having..bla bla bla.

It's never ending..counting hairs..non stop evaluations, thoughts..wishes..aspirations..ups and downs...

My notebook went dead today...because of a faulty power adaptor.  No idea how that can happen all of a sudden.  Just like the unsolved mystery of how I could I experienced two failed external hard drive in span of 3 months.

Like right now.. my back's getting uncomfortable when I lie too long faced down on my supposedly comfortable bed.  I can't sit long neither cos it's soft.  Basically, I can't stay still for too long. Especially sitting down.

We can go on and on about what's not right ..what can be better..isn't it?
But's that's life..it's never smooth all the way.  It's never perfect.  That's why it is interesting.


Things could have been better but I still love living my life.

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