Ups and Downs

Life is full of ups and downs. We all know that. Come on..you know don't you? I had the first taste of life bitteness when the doctor told us very honestly that my mom may have only six months to live. "Six months?? You must be kidding, doc." "This can't be happening!" Those were the only words that kept ringing in me...I was about 20 then.

About one two years later...I landed in the hospital..paralysed..bed ridden ..no immediate diagnosis were conclusive Surprisingly I wasn't worried. I don't know why. May be the impact of mom's illness..and watching how mom fought through her pain...made my own experience insignificant--peanuts la. She was still alive then (yea..she lived more than 6 months) ...everyone was dead worried that I will remain bed ridden for life. Everyone was worried except me. I really don't know why I wasn't worried. May be..deep in me..I knew I will pull through..which I did.

Mom left a year or two later. About time..I told myself. Enough is enough. In fact..to be very honest..I was preparing for it long before the day. I was sad..but didn't really tear but I am now.

Ups and downs..the feng shui consultant says that I have guardian angels taking care of me..making sure I pull through all obstacles. Well..no one live a life without obstacles..it's just a mater of time..how often and how severe were the challenges.

Buddhists believe in karma. I am not very good at this..I just beleive that..as long as we live..try to do good things..to benefit your next life..so that your next life will be more comfortable. Correct ah? Imagine.I only understood this philosophy ..few years back. Shame...

Why am I sober today? I'm alright...just some thoughts.


Robert Frost:
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on

Ursula K. LeGuin:
The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.

Anne Bradstreet:
If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.


Kahlil Gibran:
... joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.